Harsh or Not Entirely Understood?

Today some of what Jesus said comes across as a little harsh.  A scribe wants to follow him, and Jesus essentially tells him he has nowhere to rest.   Another man wants to follow him, but  after his dad is gone, and Jesus says to let the dead bury the dead.   I suppose I need to trust that Jesus was reading their hearts, and responding to what was there rather than what was said.  After all, the commandments do say to honor one's mother and father, so one can't exactly leave them without care, right?    Then again, James and John left Zebedee alone with the nets.   I suppose that now that my mother is gone, it isn't such a concern for me any more, but there is something buried in this word that I'm just not getting, I'm sure of that.